Saturday, January 31, 2009

Question: Is Jem truly outrageous?

After finishing 4 seasons of the office on DVD, I was looking for something new to watch and being ultra lazy to download the latest 5th season of The Office I spent a few days trolling Youtube. I stumbled upon a really old cartoon which I used to love - Jem and as the theme song suggests, it IS truly truly truly outrageous! I watched the first episode like 3 times but I was again too lazy to load the other episodes so I've been watching the opening theme sequence over and over again for the past few hours... Now I'm watching the opening themes of some really old shows ie: Thundercats, Power Rangers, My Little Pony, Double Dragon... you get the picture? I wish I was Jem! Then I'd be truly outrageous too!


Saturday, January 24, 2009


Hello all you happy people! My last post was in June last year! I'm shocked and ashamed at myself... When I started this blog, I had dreams of becoming the next Kenny Sia! HAHA! What a joke! I now look back at that poor, deluded bugger that was the me of the past and shake my head at him the way you would shake you head at a stupid cat who decides to open a blogger account and then after posting 25 posts, abandons all hopes and dreams of becoming a famous internet personality. OH! Speaking of cats! Meow! Cats remind me of pussy! I wonder why? (thinks*). I'm such a thoughtful person, am I not? One more reason why everyone I know loves me. Che!

Here's an update of what has happened in my life through the past six months of my oh so unfortunate absence!


Haha! That is, nothing except for the fact that I did horrendously badly in my A-levels exams and nearly died when I had to tell my parents what I got! And then I had to go through the ultra embarassment of being turned down by every universty I applied for through UCAS... OOOOH! I'm feeling nauseous even as I'm typing this!

I got a job at Italiannies as a host in which I was randomly scolded violently for eating the bread, making slightly wrong judgements, standing at the wrong places, standing at the right places(there is no right place to stand at Italiannies), failing an exam on the ingredients of food (you have no idea how many things you have to memorise!), failing an exam on the contents of drinks(memorising what goes into a cocktail is super hard when you have almost no knowledge of alcohol!), failing an exam on customer service (which they told me I didn't have to study for because it was common sense! BAH!), coming in 15 minutes late (even though there was a sign on the notice board that said that we had a 15 minute grace period) and etc and etc and etc by a FAT POMPOUS COW of a manager and in which I was threatened with PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT by a lesbian/female to male transexual who also happened to be my superviser and whom I thought did nothing but sit around and facebook on her crappy laptop all day. So, on a very bright and shiny Saturday, a week after a friend of mine had been fired for not coming in on his birthday (serves him right) I collected my pay, and was once again verbally accosted very rudely by the ever expanding blob for a very mild mistake which I can't remember, I decided I had had enough of all that stress! I didn't go to work that Sunday, AND I didn't go to work the Monday after that, and the Tuesday after that, and the Wednesday after that (I hope you get where I'm going with this!). Needless to say, I recieved many calls from the scary lesbian which I ignored religiously for fear of being slapped (which she threatened to do one time!). I think I was the worst host they'd ever had! TEE HEE! I'm glad I left though... I would have gone insane if I'd spent one more day in that mad house!

I've applied for a twinning degree in engineering at Taylor's which will begin in February. I was SO very thankful that they decided to take me in even with my frightful results! Yay! I can play with the cats that hang around the market again!

Lastly, its Chinese New Year again and I've been eating truck loads of mandarin oranges. They're just too yummy to resist(except for the yucky ones..)! I'm in love with mandarin oranges! I heart them more than I heart McDonalds! That is, until the very very painful problem that often arises from eating too many mandarin oranges overcomes my senses and I fall writhing on the floor... For those of you who remember my old blog and the post I wrote during Chinese New Year about 4 years back, you should know what to brace yourself for in the coming weeks:- a long whiny post on how I developed sembelit, took too many laxatives and shat green stuff till I fainted. Hopefully, this unfortunate event doesn't occur again but chances are they will as I still underestimate those tiny little yellow pills and refuse to believe that only one is enough to empty my bowels effectively and the lure of mandarin oranges are too strong to resist!,

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Memories of MADNESS at PE1

I was going through some files on my computer just now while I was hiding from my mother in my room when I came across this shit! Its soooo STUPID! I remember we had to skip our lunch break to make this! We were so hungry afterwards! 300 had just come out and we were really into it so we wanted to make a PE1 version. I was Queen Gorgo, Loy was Leonidas, Jee Ian was the messenger and instead of heads he brought "Burgers and Coke".. LOL!! we made a mistake and filmed it on the wrong side of the camera phone so its all tilted 90 degrees and up till now we still don't know how to tilt it right side up so you guys are just going to have to watch it sideways or bend your heads accordingly. It might seem tiresome but believe me it is soooo worth it!

GOD! PE1 was really really lame!!! hahahaha

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


I just finished reading Dracula last night. It was really cool! Reading it made me feel like I was in some video game like Castlevania or Resident Evil or something. Naturally after finishing it, I felt the intrinsic compulsion that almost every person who has finished reading a book feels, to discuss it with somebody. It was late at night at the time, so I couldn't talk to my sister about it, I checked on line to see who was on but there was no one whom I thought would appreciate me discussing with them what I thought of the oh so marvelous piece of literature that I had just read. Then, it dawned upon me that my mother was still awake! I was excited as I thought that this would be my opportunity to have a rousing conversation with a like-minded person. This turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes I have made of late! I had forgotten to check the toilets for proof as to whether the stately governess was going through her monthly motions(I usually do this as often as possible so as to gage whether or not I can be a naughty boy). Because of the ultra intense fervour of wonderful feelings rushing through my veins stemming from the effects of the climax of Dracula, I had ironically forgotten about my mothers terribly horrid and bloody monthly secretions that wreak havoc on her mind. I left my room ready to explode about how Dracula was so wonderful a book for its time and that I should make my sister read it when I was met with a horrid piercing glare that could only have been emitted by the antagonist of the aforementioned book or a human female high from an overpowering dose of certain hormones excreted at non helpful amounts. The proceeding argument then took place:-

Mother: Why haven't you gone and registered for Australia yet?!!(eyes burning)
Me: Err....
Mother: You so irresponsible! I've sent you the email of a friends son so that you can ask him to check out the place you are applying for for you! I did this last week! Why haven't you contacted him yet???
Me: I already have a friend doing it for me...
Mother: And why hasn't this friend of yours told you about the place yet??? You do know that the places at institutions fill up fast don't you?? Why are you dilly-dallying? Why has she taken so long?? DO YOU EVEN WANT TO STUDY???? DO YOU EVEN WANT A BETTER FUTURE???
(I was so caught off guard I couldn't fashion any good excuses!)
Me: I think my friend is having exams but sh...(I couldn't finish because she cut in)
Mother: You don't seem to care about your future! If you don't care I won't care! Good luck to you! (Storms off)

A few minutes later she had woken up my father and had started telling him about my "terrible" deeds or lack thereof. I wanted to cry! I didn't know what to do! I haven't registered yet because I'm still waiting for replies from other places that I applied for. That would have shut her up, but my mind could not pull up this information in time because all I had were notes about Dracula at hand. It was hardly even an argument! More of a situation in which I stared at her stupidly as she went on and on about how horrid I am.

Now I am at work and I dread the time for me to go back to the hell that is my home and also the home of the demi-Dracula. I need space! HELP!!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Today was the last day of my exams and also the last day of the Jan 07 A-levels intake. Gosh! It was so exciting! I couldn't revise much at all before the exams because I kept thinking about the freedom I would experience in the coming few hours. The feeling started swelling inside me until I just couldn't take it anymore and burst into song (softly of course) in the library. It felt like I was going to have an orgasm but couldn't and I was about to start clawing at the walls! Seriously I was feeling that worked up! I kept retreating away to the bookshelves to sing the song from A Goofy Movie in private, away from my study pal Ca Men (EOH). The euphoric feeling after the final exam was unexplainable. It was like ejaculating all over Taylor's. I could actually feel my brain shrinking from the rapid spewing of information that I will never need to use again... until my next course! Lol! My head really did feel much lighter! Maybe because I was dizzy with excitement. Because I was feeling so wonderful, I offered to fetch Ca Mun (EOH) and her slightly bimbotic friend Vienna (Lol! JKJK) to Sunway Pyramid. Then I ended up going with them! It turns out I am a wonderful shopping companion (woo self praise!) because I helped choose beautiful shoes for Ca Men (EOH) and a cute coloured lip gloss for Vienna to wear to the prom. My inner homosexual is definitely trying to bust out from the well decorated cage I have imprisoned him in. Here comes outer homosexual!!!! Runaway!!! He's here, he's queer, he'll buy some fashionable clothes! Lol! Speaking of homosexuality, when I was "studying" in the library with my other wonderful pal Melissa this morning before Ca Men (EOH) came, this really freaky asexual dude who makes me want to cringe came and sat next to me and started talking to me and asking me questions about chemistry and my exam venue. I was really freaked out and the little concentration I had left evaporated immediately! I promptly left the library with Melissa in tow to "go to the toilet"(which is code for run away in panic). (Shivers). That guy/girl/person is soooo scary thank god I won't be seeing him anymore! I leave you with this video. Enjoy!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Petrol Quest.

As of 11 30 last night, the price of gas has risen 48%. 48%!!!! Thats CRAYZAY!!! I usually pay about 50 bucks a week for petrol. Now I have to pay about 75!!!! OMG!!! I don't think I want to drive anymore! At 10, my mum decided that we, the whole family should go out and get our cars pumped up. Being that it was 10 o clock already, we didn't have the time to go wash up and get ready for the public eye because by the time we finished we wouldn't have time to get to the petrol station. So, we in our various states of undress - me in my boxer shorts and the t-shirt I had been wearing the whole day, my sister in a speghetti strapped, dirty old top and really short innapropriate shorts and my mum sporting an intensely messed up head of hair from just waking up, dressed ourselves in more acceptable attire in a hurry and rushed downstairs to our cars. Upon reaching her car, my mum realised that she had just pumped her tank full yesterday. We were all like WTF!!! So, everybody except my dad who had already done his pumping earlier that day rushed to my car and we were off!
It was a race against time and traffic to the petrol stations. We got to the ones near the TV3 station in about 30 minutes (DAMN LONG!!!) because the roads were so congested with people who were late pumpers like us. When we reached, the Shell was jam packed but the Mobil was strangely empty. My mum was all "GO TO MOBIL! GO TO MOBIL!!". I drove in and I was like "Whoa! Nobody!". We were going to take our pick of the pump we wanted when we saw cones in front of all the pumps. We were all "What are those cones doing there? How are we going to park if those cones are there???". So, stupidly blur and un-hint-taking, I and my mum instructed my sister to get down and remove the cones. She got out of the car with blurness obviously inherited from us and then realised that the cones were there because there was no more petrol!! Seriously! The whole pump was empty! My mum was all "WHAT! GO TO THE NKVE!!" Now it was about 1040 and we were really panicking. Negativity rushed through our veins revealing itself through dastardly thoughts like "What if there is no more petrol in the pumps at the petrol stations there?" and "What if the lines are too long and we don't make it?". We got onto the NKVE and drove to the nearest petrol stations - Shell, BHP. Shell was once again tremendously full but the BHP was not so full. We decided to go to BHP and I dangerously overtook a bunch of cars that were lining up. Much to the anger of the drivers.

*The cones at Mobil (sorry but a bit blur)

When it was my turn to fill up, I filled up my tank too much and petrol overflowed everywhere. It was like the scene out of Zoolander where the models sprayed themselves with petrol at the station and then lit a match. It was everywhere! The malay assistant guy was all "AIR AIR!!". There was no fire but, we had to wash the petrol off the car to avoid paint damage. My mum was all, "You're so greedy!!" and proceeded to nag at me the whole drive back home. I was so irritated!

*Yay! Now my tank is full!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

A Reunion And Then A Disaster Worst Than The One In China!

Yesterday, I attended an event that has been a long time coming - my primary school class reunion. It was a lunch at Wong Kok in OU and it felt really weird to see a bunch of people whom I haven't seen in 7 years and have them remember me. Ok, most of them didn't recognize me at first maybe because, I am really goodlooking now compared to when I was 12 and they couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the amazingly handsome person walking towards them. Yeah! That thought makes me feel so good about myself! Yeah!

Here are some of us, all grown up!

Here's a picture of everyone who made it for the gathering.

This our our classes page from our std 6 yearbook. Try finding me in it! It will make you laugh!

After the lunch I hung out with some of the guys till about 6. And then, after I had dinner, I went with my mum and sister to watch one of my most anticipated movies EVER, Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull. Oh God, I wish I could get my money and my memories back! After watching it I wanted to cry and tear my eyes out because it was so bad! The movie was so horrible in fact that it made me go home and post a hate message on IMDB. Something which I have never done.

Here's the message I posted:

We wait 20 years for a new Indiana Jones movie and we get this crap?? The Ants I could accept, the monkeys were tolerable, the gophers were ok, but ALIENS??? Seriously??? 20 years of looking for the right script and this is what they come up with? 20 years!!! I'm so angry! Why couldn't they leave well enough alone and let us have the wonderful memories of the past movies? Instead they've mucked everything up with this *beep* This movie destroyed the Indiana Jones series for me. George Lucas should just stop making movies! After spoiling Star Wars with those terrible, vomit inducing prequels, he now does this! Steven Spielberg should shed all ties with this sorry SOB who seems to have an insatiable need to fill his movies up with CGI MONKEYS that weren't even cute! And the scene in which Shia Labeouf does a Tarzan! That was so utterly idiotic! Why, oh why? I didn't think anybody would be able to mess up such an un-mess-up-able series. Even my 12 year old sister would have been able to write a better script than this! Why bring back Marion when you aren't going to do much with her character? It seemed like it was just fan service. And all those pointless references to the old movies! Yes! We get it! There were 3 other movies! Move on already! And Cate Blanchet's character was so badly written I wonder why she decided to take the part to begin with! I know I'm going to be hated by those who actually liked the movie after this, but I just needed somewhere to rant my dissatisfaction with this oh so horrible movie. I wish I could get my money, my time and my love for Indiana Jones back, but sadly I can't. I'm so sad... (sobs)!


Yeah, it was really horrible! Indiana Jones was my favourite movie series of all time next to Back To The Future. I know half of Temple by heart and I've seen Raiders and The Last Crusade so many times you wouldn't believe how many. Those assholes George Lucas and Steven Spielberg should be burned alive for killing the legacy that was Indy.

After the movie ended, half the audience watching had this look plastered over their faces-

And the baby in front of me was so affected by the horrible-ness he looked like this at the end-

Seriously! I kid you not! Some people actually brought a BABY into the theatre! Why the hell? I don't know but they did and they successfully taught it the very basic emotion of disgust.