Lizard death and the death of an evil plan....

Lizards are the scariest creatures in the whole world. They're icky and cold and I think they're ugly with they're slightly translucent skin and unblinking eyes. OOOOOH! Just thinking about them give me the creeps. So, anyway, on Saturday, after I finishing my blog entry I decided I wanted to watch a movie before going to sleep. I have this sofa bed in my room and I always move it so it faces in front of the computer when I want to watch a movie that I downloaded. Ok, so I was pulling the sofa away from the wall when suddenly there was this quick movement behind it. I stopped. I moved back a little. Then, I glanced behind the couch. There it was in all its disgusting glory, stuck on the wall, the most brazen lizard in the world. I let out a slight shriek. This was 2 in the morning so no one could here my horror because they were all asleep, thus, no one came to my rescue. I couldn't do anything in my room anymore because my herpetophobia is so great so I ran out. "I'll sleep in the living hall I thought." but I thought wrong! my sister had fallen asleep watching tv outside and so I couldn't! I wanted to die! This meant that I had to sleep in my room anyway with the freaky thing. I was horrified! I was scared! I was omg-ed! I was getting angry... Really angry in fact. I never kill anything bigger than a fly usually because I always think that things bigger than flies have consciousness and don't deserve to be killed. But this lizard really made me mad because it just stayed there when I tried to scare it away. It was so brazen and stubburn that it made me really really really angry and before I knew what I was doing I had grabbed the can of bug spray I keep it my room. I stood on the couch and bent my body back far away so it couldn't jump on me and I sprayed with all I had. SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Went the bug spray. And with a rustling noise the lizard ran behind the computer! I was like "SHIT!". Now its found itself a nice hiding place in my room and it might tell all its friends about it and soon behind my computer will be a lizard haven! I didn't want that. Bare in mind that this was 2 in the morning so my judgement had turned a little bit cloudy. I was really tired after all. So, I sprayed some more behind the computer I sprayed and I sprayed and I sprayed. After about 30 seconds of spraying I saw at the corner of my eye the brown skinned thing crawl out from behind the computer and run under my study desk. I proceeded to spray there also. It then made a dash for behind the dustbin at which I continued spraying at. It started to jump and jump and jump trying to crawl up the walls but the bug spray had impeded its crawling power and it couldn't then, it made a dash for the toilet. I followed bug spray in my wake. Pretty soon the flooor was covered with a shiny oily layer of bug spray. The thing ran for the toilet bowl and hid behind it. I didn't want to wake up the next morning to bathe in a toilet with a lizard, probably with impaired sticky power on the ceiling above my head ready to fall at any time, so, I continued my spray quest every moment getting more and more sadistic. I was sitting on the sink trying to avoid the creature when I realised that bug spray wasn't working fast enough. I looked around and saw my Veet hair removal gel. Ok, Veet is really really bad for my skin. It gives me strong chemical burns every time I use it so I stopped. The can I had left in my toilet had not been used in years. Without thinking much I grabbed it, aimed the nozzle over the lizard which was beneath the sink and let go a stream of strongly alkaline gel all over the lizard. It started to jump and squirm. At this point I realized what a monster I had turned into but it was too late the lizards skin had already been scalded and there was no turning back. The poor thing continued squirming and then it tried to crawl away for safety but the cream was all over it. I wanted to cry because I had caused so much pain so such a poor defenseless creature that I now realized did not deserve it. It was probably minding its own business behind my couch looking for a mosquitoe or something when I came along and decided that it should die. It was horrible! I wanted to speed up its inevitable death in some dignified way. A looked around the toilet for something to do just that and I found this bottle of rubbing oil, the type people use when they have stomach aches and headaches. Its really mentholly and I thought that a creature that small would die immediately after having some poured over it so, I poured alot of the oil all over the lizard. It started to jump even higher than it did before obviously feeling the burn from the ointment. It scrambled and it squirmed and then it crawled behind the door and died. I was sad and scared all at the same time. Sad because the poor thing had died at my hands and scared because I had turned into a sadistic lizard killing monster. I couldn't sleep in my room any more that night because of that incident so I collected all my pillows and blanket and stuff and slept on the floor of the living room.

I was feeling bad about Saturdays incident all through Sunday but today something happened to alleviate my mood. Remember that I have to take my sister to the Backstreet Boys concert? Well, I was thinking of ways where I could take care of her and still have fun there but I could come up with nothing so, at dinner I decided to discuss it with her. Half way through my rice I looked at her and said something along the lines of "I really hope you listen to me while we're at the concert," I was about to continue when my dad asked when the concert was being held. My sister was about to say something but then stopped. I told him it was Wednesday night. He started to smile at my sister sneakily. Then he looked at my mother. "She can't go," he said. "She's got tuition,". My mother stared open mouthed at my sister. I started to laugh. My sisters face contorted into something inhumanly angry. My mother was all "YOU TRIED TO TRICK US?!!!" I was all "HAHAHAHA" and dropped my fried chicken. My sister looked dismayed as her evil plot to get out of tuition was ruined. No wonder she wanted to go eventhough she doesn't like the Backstreet Boys. She just wanted to skip tuition! She really is a sneaky little thing isn't she? I'm actually quite proud of her. So now I don't have to worry about taking care of her at the concert anymore, I have to worry about selling the tickets otherwise, I'll have to go with my mother to the concert which isn't that bad on the count of I don't have to take care of my mother but it sure will be embarassing if she comes!